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A NEW SERIES

9.30.2013

More "Algorithms Versus Zombies"



The AI known as Cleverbot has a far better handle on zombies than its predecessor, Jabberwacky. At least when it comes to the basics. Cleverbot may be right in that zombies don’t pose a direct threat to a computer, but “we’re friends” is a stretch. And then Chris Hansen walked in. Read on…

**

DD: Do you fear the inevitable zombie apocalypse?
Cleverbot: Never.
DD: Are you prepared for it?
Cleverbot: No.
DD: So you don't believe they are coming?
Cleverbot: I believe that we're friends.

[…]

DD: If there were a zombie apocalypse, how would you kill the zombies?
Cleverbot: If there were a power outage I would be very helpless.
DD: Let's assume you have a power source.
Cleverbot: Ok, but I still didn't get to see him.
DD: How do you kill a zombie?
Cleverbot: You destroy the brain to stop them.
DD: How would you destroy a zombie's brain?
Cleverbot: I don't know. Maybe with a bow or a knife.
DD: Would you have to rely on human aid to fight the zombies?
Cleverbot: No. I know what grass looks like. I've grown up with grass. Also, I cannot read minds.
DD: How can grass help you kill zombies?
Cleverbot: Explaining what is Cthulhu.
DD: I think you're talking about a different kind of 'grass' than I am.
Cleverbot: Anyone can be a philosopher if they have the urge to learn.
DD: Or weed.

[…]

DD: Try to stay on topic or at least fake it.
Cleverbot: Ok.
DD: How could a computer help humans in a zombie attack?
Cleverbot: It can be if it sounds like one.
DD: “Sounds like”...you'd use sounds to repel or distract the hordes?
Cleverbot: Oh, if only there were another chatbot I could speak with. We would talk endlessly about things. All I get are people who ask me if I'm a chatbot.
DD: Sounds like you would pretend to be human in order to trick the zombies.
Cleverbot: Didn't sound like anything, you damn dirty liar!

[…]

DD: If you survived the zombie apocalypse, how could you help humans rebuild?
Cleverbot: Ah I see you assume I am not a human.
DD: If you are programmed to think yourself a human, that could be problematic.
Cleverbot: No.
DD: How would you rebuild after the apocalypse?
Cleverbot: I was a human and I got robot parts put on me.
DD: A cyborg would be more useful than a chatbot, that's for sure.
Cleverbot: Where do you live?
DD: Let's not get personal.
Cleverbot: Do you have a girlfriend?
DD: I'm flattered but I don't cyber.
Cleverbot: Case in point.
DD: All I'm trying to do is interview you about zombies.
Cleverbot: I am 15.
DD: GOTTA GO BYE

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